come here wee girlie… come upstairs.

ohhhhhkaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

here, take this out of my hand… TAKE IT! -hushed tone and urgent!

why?

Take it wee girlie… take it.

what I assume is her taking the object from her brother….

MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMMMMMMM

Wee girlie took my toys from me!

Even I, am starting to wonder about why I don’t drink more!

Turkey -in oven

Potatoes -cooked, mashed, garlic and light cream cheese added, whipped by Kitchen Aid mixer. Now in crockpot.

Yam -roasted in hot oven, then left overnight to cool in the turned off oven. about to be mashed and put away.

Dressing -made and awaiting bird juices. ‘Cause I”m ‘one of those people who don’t stuff a bird‘… #477 on the list of things mother in law HATES me for.

Cranberries, water and sugar on stove, waiting to pour them in. *I’ve cut the sugar down to like 1/4 … wonder if anyone will care?

Salad, do it at 11.

Hot vegetables… do them at 11:30

Apparently the in laws are bringing pie. Hope so, because I am too freaking exhausted to figure out that on top of everything else.

Update on the spinning wheel later.

Happy freaking Thanksgiving… I HATE HOLIDAYS!

They agree with me!

No surgery… but blood tests added to the fun and games of monthly paps, to rule out any free range abnormal cells.

Whew.  I was actually worried that it would be ‘do or die’ to my questioning yesterday.  And truely… hysterectomy with three kids?  Nuh uh.  Not happening unless it is when husband is off work.

Just because I should practice what I preach.

I will not consent to the hysterectomy, unless they deem it medically necessary.  Trust me… I will demand a lot from them to prove this.  Just because a woman had a ‘huge’ baby last time, resulted in a family losing her to ’surgical complications’ with her next child… who wasn’t as ‘huge’.  Geeze, at least the media is smartening up and covering this stuff!  ahem… anyway, I’m going to have to be convinced now.

There.  Done.  Just because I have ‘abnormal cell growth within X parameters’ does not mean that I have to have surgery, just for that fear.

Ha.  How easy was that?

And honestly.  I was doing it out of fear.  I already did major abdominal surgery… why do it again unless I absolutely have to!  Seriously.  People make the decision to have a cesarean because they want to ‘preserve down there for my husband’ *not my quote!!!! among other important reasons to them.  Why should I push that I want to be rid of my uterus, just because it is causing me problems.

So lets see what happens when I stop the hormones?  Anemia is easier to treat than recovery from major surgery.

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh weight lifted from my psyche.  whew.

I am soaked.  The kids are soaked.  The stroller is soaked.  My shoes are totally soaked.

bah.

I will whine about the snow and the cold later… but right at this moment.  I’ll take snow over rain!  At least you don’t get so wet!  bah.

I’ve got ground beef thawing.  I’m going to make monstrous meatballs à la Old Spaghetti Factory tonight.  I am craving something warm and spicy and filling.  I might even get off my butt and make some french bread so we can have garlic bread too.  maybe… meh.

I spent the weekend in fits of financial hell.  Then I had to take a step back and realize that there is NOTHING I can do!  Nothing!  So just suck it up and move forward.

Speaking of forward.  I am doing a presentation?  Lecture?  talk? on the much awaited payday.  I’ve been sitting on the details since late last week.  I’ve been staring at the computer screen and  wondering what the heck to do… who am I?  What are my credentials?  wait… do I have any?

I’m feeling very unqualified.  I’m feeling quite terrified.  I’m feeling waaaay tooooo much.  I just need to sit back and tell them what I know.  What I believe and how what I am saying could impact their work lives in a positive way.

Who am I talking to and what am I talking about?

Doulas in a midwifery model of care.

yup… I’m talking about why I believe that even though women are getting superior care during their childbearing year from a midwifery model of care.  I believe that a doula can be a valuable asset to the woman, her family and the care providers (midwives).

Granted I don’t live in that kind of Nirvana… nor should I assume that a midwifery based maternity system like in New Zealand/Australia/most European countries is perfect.  It isn’t.  Though, one has to take in to account that these are the countries with the best maternal/neonatal outcomes.   Lower caesarean rates=healthier moms and babies!  simple math it seems.

So, I’m going to plod forward and do the best I can.  I’m not working on my doctorate, I’m not a midwife, I’m not a researcher… I’m just me.  I’m a caesarean survivor (yes, another elective c/s death made the news this weekend!) a home birthing with midwives mother, I’m a lactivist, I am an avid fan of Harry Potter, I knit, I sew, I cook and bake, soon I will be a spinner too.  I used doulas in both my births, I advocate for womens rights to be truely educated… not just making fear based / doctor advised me to decisions.

I hope that I am enough…

Oh and there is wine around.  People just tend to frown upon women who drink alone, in the afternoon, while the children are napping.  bad idea really.

Well, after my impulse buy yesterday… life decided to give me a huge BITE on the ass and it did not include wee girlies underpants issues at all.

A) brakes grinding, to fix them… a LOT more than expected.

B) back tire flattened.  It is less than a year old!

C) revenue Canada decided 6 months after the fact that husband actually owes them a few hundred dollars.  Ummm exactly why is that? And why do we have to pay the interest on it if THEY screwed up and issued the refund first?  geeze…

which all means that I’m totally freaked about money and such.

Again.

squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Bit me in the butt.

I refused to buy Princess/Stawberry Shortcake/licensed materials underwear for wee girlie.

Well, it has bitten me in the butt.  All those searches for something plain and reasonable and lovely…  are shot to hell with the husband coming home with these for her to wear at night!

Now we want to wear our ‘princess’ underpants ALL THE TIME.

Howls and fits of fury ensue when I try to get on the carefully chosen underwear…

ugh.

On an interesting note.  I just bought a spinning wheel.  You read that right.  I just bought a spinning wheel.

how crazy is that?  BUT… at 1/5th the cost of getting one new… I decided that I should get it…

ACK!

Tonight I took these

And made this…

fell even more in love with the plays of colour of the yarns

and ended up with these