Crappy night…

Well, after my impulse buy yesterday… life decided to give me a huge BITE on the ass and it did not include wee girlies underpants issues at all.

A) brakes grinding, to fix them… a LOT more than expected.

B) back tire flattened.  It is less than a year old!

C) revenue Canada decided 6 months after the fact that husband actually owes them a few hundred dollars.  Ummm exactly why is that? And why do we have to pay the interest on it if THEY screwed up and issued the refund first?  geeze…

which all means that I’m totally freaked about money and such.

Again.

Oh so sad…

Well, the chance to do this ended last night.

I even had the option of paying in installments.

And…

I am so completely and totally stressed out about finances that I decided to not sign up.

I am sooooo sad.

BUT… But… I WILL buy some yarn from her after things settle down.  I will.

sigh.

a few more…

Pounds are gone.

I am drinking water like a mad woman… and trust me, I do not like water… so yeah.  Crazy woman.

I am eating.  And I have found out the bad way that I should not have junk food.  It just isn’t pleasant.

The dog is snuffling/snoring next to me at the moment.  I’m tired.  I’m grumpy.  I’m stressed.

I have no idea what I need to do to feel better.  Once that baby is born… I’ll figure it out.  Right now… I just want that baby to come out.  I’m looking forward to seeing what it looks like, the siblings definitely look like siblings!  But… they are also sooo different.  c’mon kiddo.  let us see what you look like!

Tomorrow, like yesterday and today.  Swim lessons, lunch, nap/quiet time, wading pool, supper, bed.

Life is…. well it is.

The problem with the internet…

Is that you find yourself self medicating cruising along and drooling over things you covet.

You don’t need them… but you want them

like this to fuel my baking obsession.

and this because… well because I love pasta!

or how about some of these… now that the fibre bug has bitten me… BADLY!  I started out with the simple mantra… don’t start anything new, until you are finished what you started.  start laughing at me now.  Even if you aren’t on Ravelry… I’m in the middle of about six things.  So much for mantras.  Or one of these?  Actually that is on my list of things to get one day anyway.  Just for fun.  In the actual yarn department… I’d adore anything from this woman.  You all knew I was a Harry Potter fan, didn’t you?  Well her other yarns are gorgeous too!   This yarn I’d make a nice scarf for my friend Sue, who spent four years on the Sudan… and came home with a terrible scar across her neck.

Seeing as I’m dreaming… how about these!  Oh yeah…. I’ve promised myself a pair (just one? sigh…) should I ever lose enough weight.  so… I am 14 lbs down… too many more to go!  ugh… a girl can dream.  Bet some of you didn’t know I’m a shoe nut!  Yes, I’m Carrie Bradshaw in the wrong body.

To feed my activists heart.  This and of course this one.  I love this magnet, reminds me of a gal named Jer who I’ve had the honour of corresponding with for the last few years!  This one too.  A subscription to this journal, seeing as I’m on a roll!

Okay enough already.  Instead of making me happy, distracting me, keeping me from fretting over the state of affairs in our household finances….  It has made me kinda melancholy.  bah

I need

to do something….

I’m so stressed about the finances… compounded by the flooding basement at the moment and the ‘root extraction process’ tomorrow… that I just want to go out for a walk and not come back.  I just feel so overwhelmed by it all. Walking away seems like a perfectly logical idea.

Exercise and if I’m not here, the problem isn’t either.

Snort.

I need a job.  I need a job that doesn’t throw us in to the next tax bracket and is highly do-able with three children…

stop laughing.

time to try for some sleep.

again… I hear laughter.

Things are about to get ugly…

Tomorrow… wait… tonight a few of the people husband worked with these past few weeks are coming over.

With the intentions of husband and I going and having a pedicure and out for dinner.

Not happening.

Why?

Because he got frustrated with the tent while out camping with the boys tonight and bought a new one.

Can we say, two more mortgage payments, one more car payment, and fuel for the first two weeks back to work… before BEFORE the first paycheque.  Don’t even get me started on the panic attacks over the rising cost of … well… everything!

I will be having a very lousy day with him… after I inform him that this whole ‘date night’ was cancelled at midnight in a group e-mail to those of them I know.

Cripes… for the record. One of the WORST homecomings yet. So not happy.

Worst wife ever?

Yeah, that is me raising her hand in the corner.

LIVID.

Totally livid… and I’m not supposed to know about this until August.

It is going back to the store.  I’m hoping HE will get the money back and put it where it belongs… in to the bank account.  Or I will sell it myself.  What a dumbass.  I’m actually so angry I can’t even think straight.

Some days… I wish I wasn’t married.

*photo note for blindmama  pretty ring, with shiny little stones… which WILL NOT BE GRACING MY FINGER EVER!

This…

*UPDATE!!!!!

Can not be happening….

The fridge.

Dead.

Some days I swear my life is cursed.

*said dead appliance is less than five years old. WHAT THE HECK?!!

Just because I refuse to accept reality… or any such nonsense… I shut down the entire house with the breaker.  Waited five minutes.  Came upstairs to humming fridge.  Crosses fingers and toes……..

There be foodstuffs again…

Made it to pay day by the skin of our teeth this month.  curses the van and price of petrol…

We weren’t starving by any means, but I like to have a lot more veggies and fruit than I found this morning.  And we ran out of juice by lunch time.  Wee girlie spent the entire roam around the massive store clutching her ‘matos’ (tomatoes) and garlic.   Yeah… she is the one who opens the fridge and shovels grape tomatoes in to her mouth until I stop the chipmunk impersonations.

We also purchased the essential sidewalk chalk (hoodlums stole the last of the supply in the fall and ‘tagged’ the sidewalk outside the house, watering can did wonders for that stunt) and midsized boys birthday present.   I’m sure he will squeal with delight come that morning.  The new play dough octopus play thing.  I have to add, this is the kid who uses an entire package of popsicle sticks instead of the cookie cutters and shape maker some days! This is a kid who when you set him down with playdough…. you have a good half hour, often more of pure fun.  It will be good.  I think I’ll take him back to the homestead for the weekend of my fathers birthday, catch a ride back to home the next day with the in-laws who are coming in for husbands birthday.  Yes, April is scary for us.  Father and nephew one day, husband and his mother the next and the midsized boy rounds it out the next day.  Actually if you take only three generations… there are 27 of them.

Midsized boy was ‘due’ in May… on International Midwifery Day (May 5th!).  Though now that I think of it, my father was a very early baby, like they called the vicar to bless him (baptise even?!) when he was born.  My father was what is now termed as an unassisted birth.  My grandparents did not have the money to go to the hospital.  Oh yes, universal healthcare was not in effect then… scary huh?  For all that she ‘forgot’ in her last few years… my grandmother could laugh about her own mother and sister sipping tea down in the kitchen while she laboured and delivered my father.

okay, enough rambling huh?  I need to go to bed early tonight… these allergies are whooping my butt!