Sunday, Sunday….

Wish it was Monday?

nah…  and no, no baby yet.

sigh!

Anyway, took them all to the childrens museum, then a picnic close by to the knit out.  Which I was debating attending.  I’m glad I stuck around… if only for the ‘I’m totally unprepared… so friend/client should go in to labour NOW’… didn’t work.  Anyway, glad I stuck around.  I broke my promise of ‘no more money’ spending by going to eat sushi with two of the knitters I know, and one I didn’t.  Alas it was too good and I plan on hitting that type of thing again.  I also promised a night of sushi making in November. 

Not being a sun worshipper I joined one of the regulars from the knitting group in the shade.  We had a nice time keeping from frying.  When the time came, we wandered over to the ‘draw’… as we walked over I said I barely ever win anything but I’d certainly love to have any one of the prizes!  We both chuckled at that.

Noro Silk Garden!!!!

I believe that the Supreme Sock Goddess will be helping me figure out what to do with it at some point… right after I finish off the in-law Christmas gifts!  And the Christmas stuff, for y’know… this Christmas!

Poor husband, as I’m excitedly showing it to him he comments ‘it is more yarn’.

I look at him with a withering look and say… it is only sex.

I think he is catching on.

snickers…

Oh so sad…

Well, the chance to do this ended last night.

I even had the option of paying in installments.

And…

I am so completely and totally stressed out about finances that I decided to not sign up.

I am sooooo sad.

BUT… But… I WILL buy some yarn from her after things settle down.  I will.

sigh.

The problem with the internet…

Is that you find yourself self medicating cruising along and drooling over things you covet.

You don’t need them… but you want them

like this to fuel my baking obsession.

and this because… well because I love pasta!

or how about some of these… now that the fibre bug has bitten me… BADLY!  I started out with the simple mantra… don’t start anything new, until you are finished what you started.  start laughing at me now.  Even if you aren’t on Ravelry… I’m in the middle of about six things.  So much for mantras.  Or one of these?  Actually that is on my list of things to get one day anyway.  Just for fun.  In the actual yarn department… I’d adore anything from this woman.  You all knew I was a Harry Potter fan, didn’t you?  Well her other yarns are gorgeous too!   This yarn I’d make a nice scarf for my friend Sue, who spent four years on the Sudan… and came home with a terrible scar across her neck.

Seeing as I’m dreaming… how about these!  Oh yeah…. I’ve promised myself a pair (just one? sigh…) should I ever lose enough weight.  so… I am 14 lbs down… too many more to go!  ugh… a girl can dream.  Bet some of you didn’t know I’m a shoe nut!  Yes, I’m Carrie Bradshaw in the wrong body.

To feed my activists heart.  This and of course this one.  I love this magnet, reminds me of a gal named Jer who I’ve had the honour of corresponding with for the last few years!  This one too.  A subscription to this journal, seeing as I’m on a roll!

Okay enough already.  Instead of making me happy, distracting me, keeping me from fretting over the state of affairs in our household finances….  It has made me kinda melancholy.  bah

ACK!

It is six pm.  I should be racing around getting things settled for when the babysitter arrives.

I’m not.

Too freaking tired and well, without anal-retentive husband around to tsk tsk the state of affairs… I’m not out to impress anyone today.

The house has been vacuumed, the toys sorted and stowed in their appropriate spots.  PJ’s are set out, toothbrushes already toothpasted.  Snacks are ready.

On the other hand.  I have no idea what to take with me to knitting… hence the problem with a ’stash’.  IT CAUSES HAVOC!

Have wee socks for Mr. E in California made, must find something for the siblings….  YO!  Mr. Sam in Georgia…. need foot length.  ahem…. yes I mean your speedy little son Ms. Cooler Doula, don’t make me leave a request on your husbands blog!  All I have left now is to make the socks for mr. Indigo in the UK…   boys boys boys! and another two due in my world coming up.  Friend and client from last summer (micro-preemie, no ‘heroic measures taken’).

Thinking of taking little people to a historic park tomorrow morning.  I just said thinking.  Not sure if I am up for it, let alone the cost.  But… we shall see.

Yeah… should be getting ready shouldn’t I….

Hey, cut me some slack.  I made snacks to take tonight.  So, HA!  I am somewhat prepared.

I’m insane…

I don’t want to make husband socks… but alas, the yarn colourway I covet to contrast husbands black boiled wool coat… may not show up until the fall. I am NOT taking that kind of chance… so socks in coffee/chocolate colours it is.

Cripes, that is a lot of knitting…. yikes.

I blame the supreme sock goddess… this is all her fault!

photo note for blindmama… yarn, yarn, yarn, more yarn and some needles, a few needle covers… y’know, yarn stuff that was on sale.

in other news our Manitoba cactus is … blooming! holy heck! it is gorgeous!

ignore the weeding I plan on doing while incredibly annoying neighbour is at work tomorrow… because yeah, I do put my kids to bed before the sun sets… for some reason I’m not telling you to do the same for yours… why is that? oh yeah, I’m not feeling up to slamming your parenting in a loud voice like you do to me.

thats it,

isn’t it?

G’night people. I’m sending the mother bird home tomorrow. Back to just the three of us until next week. And lots of knitting. Oh so much knitting!

Plowing through.

Husband looked at the somewhat pained expression on my face this evening and asked if I should just leave the knitting alone until my head was somewhat less likely to explode from the lack of sleep, hacking up a lung and sinus congestion.  No mention of my days of frustration over my lack of brain cells and a pattern written in simple English, with cheat sheet reminders all over the place… no, the man was rather smart in skipping over that thought.

I said that no, I did not need to leave it alone. I was plowing on through.

I plowed through the pattern.

I ended up with one extra stitch… not sure how, but who cares, that is what the purl2tog ended up with a purl three together for.  See, easy peasy.

bwaaa haaa haaaa.

I am looking forward to the sock goddess‘ input on the pattern on Tuesday night though.  Seems to me that she might be able to say stitch more than six times without the aid of wine… I am looking forward to it!

Needless to say,  I plowed on through the pattern and got my ’sample sockling’ all done up.  Huzzah and all that fun stuff.  I’m going to lay my battered body down to rest now.

Can I take a sick day?

Progressively feeling worse.

I forgot how lousy allergies can be.  I had a pretty good reprieve for the duration of the reproductive/nursing years.  I have a feeling the worn down iron deficient body is not helping my immune response.

Had a great visit with my parents.  Both made a trek up the stairs at biggest boys fortress education to see his classroom.  He was thrilled.

Wee girlie and midsized boy were worn to the bone this afternoon, taking their gran to the Costco and other errands… hence no nap.  Hence wee girlie asleep by 7:30.  Yeah… wow.  The other morning she got up at around 7.  Same as always.  wipes sweat off brow and thanks whomever is in charge for that small mercy!  Hopes for more mercy come the morning hours. No, I’m not willing to entertain cutting out her naps.  No way, no how, no no NO!  She was not the most delightful beast this afternoon.  I only survived by going upstairs and back to bed at five…  yeah, moms can only call in sick when dad gets home.

Got up at seven and kept plodding along with the new sock book.  yeah yeah, will link later.  Too flipping tired.  Swatching… well actually, knitting an entire wee sock.  that way I know what I’m up against… I hope.

G’night all.

What? It is quiet?

Yes, indeed… they are all quiet.  I sat on biggest boys bed (he goes to sleep in our bed then is moved back later) and turned the heel on mother-in-laws sock.  Only two massive melt downs from wee girlie… mostly because she was not expecting me to be sitting on the other bed, ready to chase her back to bed.  Which is exactly what I did!  Midsized boy thought this was totally hilarious.  I had to refrain from giggling along with him after tucking her in, yet again.

So, here I am with absolute quiet.

AWESOME.

This is the photo I took this morning of the sock to send to my mother-in-law.  She is not a ‘crafty’ person, her sister did everything, sewing, knitting, went to university…blah blah blah.  Needless to say, she wasn’t quite all that and a bag of chips… but that is another rant and a half.  When I gave m-i-l the yarn on her birthday, she was beyond thrilled.  Her reply this morning was “I can hardly wait to show them off, and the best thing is that they are an hbacmama original”.  Granted they will be encased in Crocs… but one can hope she will wear them with her Birks too.

Why yes, I am feeling rather good about myself tonight.  Even picking up the side  stitches off of the heel is going better than it ever has, perhaps 8th time is a  charm?

Short rows

Bite.

Bite the big one.

BITE BITE BITE…

I’m so tired of finding “easiest short row heel ever” ” short rows made easy” “easy tutorial of short row”

easy is not a word I’m familiar with.

Fridge is still working… fingers and toes still crossed… and the bamboo needles attempting short rows are being knocked around.  A lot.

My father ROCKS!

After introducing my mother to the whole cult sock knitting thing…  She has been wanting some better sock needles.  I pointed her towards the totally cool and fun needles at Knitpicks.  So, when my father got the e-mail open today (yes, the methodical thought process is better some days than others… today was alright I guess) he said, how many should I order, does hbacmama need some too?

My mother called to let me know… so I asked quite politely if I could run a tab and order the book too.

tee hee.

I’ve got new needles and a BOOK! SQUEEEEEEE

The too much information post.

With out the aid of a glass of wine and a friend I lost waaaay too many years of her company. I shall give a rundown.

I have HPV, strain X lucky me! which is a lovely one the shows up as iffy, to full blown cancer cells.

This was found after I had biggest boy.

And again after midsized boy.

After wee girlie I was cleared for a whole six months… and

Again.

For the most part, my body is happily plugging along with ‘abnormal cells within a high but normal range’. Last set of tests came back with me back at clear. Sadly, all this crap means that I get a really good looky loo at the cervical gunk by the lab. Which has recently had a few discrepencies. Yeah. Fun and games.

Yes, I’m very flippant about it. I have cancer cells? ha ha ha! My mother and I are the only two women who haven’t been struck with breast cancer so far. On both my mother and fathers side. I fully expect this, and not in the fatalist woe is me attitude. More of a ‘whatever, lets just kick this crap out’.

For a while now in accordance with how crappy I feel with adhesions and general lack of feeling at the skin level…. my lower abdomen, lets all say the word uterus!, has been having a fit. Most women tend to lose a few teaspoons of blood during her menses. I have been losing about an ounce an hour. Love that diva cup. I only wish I’d lied and taken the one offered me at the clinic as a back up!

So yes, other than the random thought of killing my husbands urologist when I don’t bleed for more than two weeks solid…. this usual indicator of when and what is going on inside my body is gathering dust on my bedside table…

Fun and games y’all, fun and games.

At the moment I am advocating for a hysterectomy. Take the cervix, take the uterus… leave me some ovaries to keep the dementia somewhat at bay… snort. As if I’m not already loopy enough?!

Full report on the fact that women with cesarean scars are more than likely to need a hysterectomy within ten years of this surgery should be linked here… alas, I have better things to save up my pennies for.  I know all about the whole, mess with the process and reap the benefits! I need to blog roll that woman!

Good night!

Cake, yarn, plonk (that is the lingo for wine ’round the knitting circle) and soda which threw me off the wagon… oh and the cake…. and oh the snacks.  Woweee.  I am not feeling quite so bad for not bringing anything as I had planned.  There was very little room on the table!  I’ll bring a snack on another night, when people aren’t expecting anything.  Ah yes, it was the owner of the lovely shops’ birthday!  40 is the new 20 don’t you know!  Actually I’m looking forward to that.

Found the bears, once I started moving all the furniture in the boys room.  Reunited with their owner.  Major catastrophe averted!

Garbage bag full of hand me downs from a mom at the school.  AWESOME!  I don’t think I’ll ever have to buy wee girlie a snowsuit!  Seriously!

My ‘birthing candle’ is getting a run for its money.  Mr. Indigo is keeping us all waiting for news!  Loads of gentle birth thoughts heading across the ocean to Sara and her husband.  I will venture to guess that a) I lost my bet on Earth day, as it is no longer the 22nd in her corner of the planet… or b) I WON!  And will get to gloat later.:-)

Going to lay down on the couch and hope for sleep.

The man… he likes to clean.

You didn’t make this did you? says husband holding the sock that I had sitting on the coffee table so I can look at where I went wrong and not repeat it with the matching one.

What? jerk… of course I made it… you watched me make it! Oh no… the Sock Goddess made it and I’m taking the credit.

Oh, I just thought this was from your mom or maybe you bought her some new socks…

Grabbing the sock and showing where I went terribly wrong and the poor attempt at kitchener stitches… which started alright… but I’m straying. Grabbing the sock I show him the matching one started on wee sticks and then I say the Sock Goddess would be horrified with this, showing him the original sock. She would have ripped it out and fixed it. I did not notice the error of my ways/math until it was so too late!

I’m in trouble now aren’t I?

So much for plans…

Last night I was supposed to finish the second sock… then go and pay a minuscule fee for the sock goddess to help me learn how to finish the toe. She would have to triple the fee to make it worth the time and effort it would take to teach me!

So much for plans. Spent last night in bed… hacking up a lung. Nary a knitting needle in sight. So, the wonderful plans were scratched this morning. Though I figure if I slip her some wine one night… and a fiver… I might be allowed to see the secrets of finishing off socks properly.

For now I’m going to now try and convince midsized boy to accompany me upstairs… give him a bunch of toys and books in the big bed and lie down. My head is aching today. Can’t tell if it is hormone or weather related. Hormones can stuff it, and the weather can join the hormones in Hell … I’m so tired of snow! I dug out the Easter things and realized that the chance of ‘nice weather’ for Easter is about… ohhhhhh. NIL. Oh the life of a Canadian. No outdoor egg hunt this year.

Hope everyone is having a nice weekend. Send me some extra warmth if you have some okay?

I need a break…

Everyone, including me, has been sick for too long.

I’m crabby and tired and totally off kilter. I actually went and downloaded ambulance sirens, took me a few tries to get the right one… but I got it. Now I’m in the midst of burning a cd of it. Gonna make myself immune to those suckers if it drives me over the edge. I am going to kick this ptsd sh*t out of my psyche. I’ve got to. I’m counting again and that is just not acceptable. Funny thing is, when I’m with other people I can shut it down for the most part. I may be more focused on other things than I need be, driving for example, but I can shut it away a bit. I’m really good about it with the kids. I have to physically relax more, but I refuse to show the panic.

Husband is driving me further over the edge. Four more months and I’ll have four weeks of peace and quiet. Yes, I know I will miss being able to go off and get groceries on my own… or wander around the Chapters or even have a Slurpee on a really hot night. I think I’ll have to arrange play dates for me with friends so that I have a schedule for a babysitter to come in at least once a week. That way I can get groceries and have some human contact. Last summer it was so nice to sit and kill off strawberries in the blender when everyone was in bed… but company and getting out really needs to happen. I really missed him when I was trying to paint the 9 ft walls in the bathroom. It was pretty scary balancing on the tub, sink, toilet, ladder trying to get in to those corners and up to the ceiling. But not having someone wake up every single morning having to plan out the day… really is bliss.

I finally found a neat little pattern on Ravelry to make a funky scarf for me out of the bright and crazy sock yarn I bought. Yes, sock yarn is going to be a scarf. Kind of like I used summer weight wool crepe for my wedding dress. Oh yes I did! People look at me in shock. But I really did not like the idea of being confined in shiny polyester on a hot August day (and at my size… it would have been uuuuugly!) and the silks I liked were a lot out of my price range. I don’t like being confined to molds… or is that moulds… har dee har har.

I’ve always wanted a funky thin long scarf to wrap around my neck in the spring… and this yarn made me smile… so maybe wearing it will make me feel a bit better too. I dreamt about it last night, finished product was absolutely gorgeous! I made a second one for the midwife I had with wee girlie and sent it to her at work with the article I wrote for the midwifery journal. Guess my sub conscious is trying to kick me in to action huh? Hers was much more muted tones … I think if I ever see yarn that fits the dream one… I’ll have to send in the article huh?

Well, Sunday morning is almost over. whew. Husband took the boys to church, wee girlies nose is just ooozing non stop and I was in a less than stellar mood to go. Some people go to church to fill voids. I am not one of them.

Time to think about lunch. I will have to get some apples and brown sugar some time today. I have a recipe for a chocolate chip cookie, in a pan. I went to make it with the boys on Friday, and we were out of brown sugar… so we couldn’t make it. Kids eat an apple or two (between the three of them) every single day… so we need apples! I figure the oldest boys can go on a grocery run this afternoon… if I don’t feel like leaving the house.

Now then… I’m off to polish off the wording to my resignation of this ‘mom’ job…. snort.