WAH…

It is raining outside.

I hate walking with three children in the rain… especially when we have a deadline looming (the school bell).

Bah.

Bane of my existence.

I despise fund raising…

All our family lives outside of the area covered by this.

We have very few friends, and we don’t ask either…

Blah.

I also hate that the school pushes all the great prizes kids win when they sell X amount.  bah.

A little excited perhaps?

Midsized boy got up before six this morning.

BEFORE SIX.

I’m so freaking tired I can barely stay awake.  I don’t have anything made for supper.

New N/K teacher is… well, is…  uhmmmm. yeah.  Vague, quiet, blah, boring, no spark?  Yeah, this should be fun?  I can attest to the six children, whom one is my child, and shudder at the thought of her day.  Well then.  Her problem, not mine… until she starts to complain to me.  Oh and the new principal?  Well, when everyone said they wanted a MAN in the position.  They kinda got their wish.  She is what one might call ballsy? Note to any new admin out there… when you walk in a room full of parents and wee ones to get a cuppa joe.  Say hello and perhaps just for fun, introduce yourself and smile?  would it hurt to do that?!

yeesh.

Child care arranged for Monday at lunch, will be taking wee girlie to a meeting with me.  urg.  On an interesting note, she is wearing one of the ONLY pairs of store bought pants I’ve bought for her in a loooong time.  Childrens Place pants, size 3, skinny…. there are these lovely things that bring in the waist for these little things like my daughter.  I’ve pulled it in to the LAST loop.  And yet, we have butt cleavage when she bends over too often.  Poor kid.

If you will excuse me…

I’m going to spend the next few days regretting every brining forth life on to this planet doing the first day of school thing with the boys.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

bashes head to wall/table/any hard surface available.

My life, for ‘normal’.

Seriously. MY LIFE.  ‘Cause this one sucks.

Hello insomnia…

Nice of you to drop by while I’m fretting over having to ‘deal’ with the competi-mommy $hit tomorrow.

Bugger.

in a weeks time.

Both boys will be at school for most of my day.  Midsized boy will be in the morning only, but biggest boy again will be gone morning and afternoon.

I begin the freak out now.

This has been a week of dwindling patience on my part.  Acting out in any and all inappropriate ways on their parts.  I am terrified.

It doesn’t help that I’m being offered ‘help and advice’ daily by someone who is involved with biggest boys afternoons this week.  I am trying very hard to be friendly and thankful and such.  But no, I am not interested in which programs are where and what might work best.  I’m sorry, but I am not seeking out more stuff to tell me how to cope with his behaviour.  I am seeking out stuff to FIX his behaviour.  I am long past the coping stage.

Some days I wish I was more in to the granola crunching sector… I could just sit back and announce that I have an indigo child and let it be.  Sadly, I live in the real world and indigo is just a colour, not a type of life my child should lead.

Yes, I have read up on indigo children, I have the first book, tattered and read to death…  alas, not convinced that biggest boy is one.

Direct quote.

Some years ago, people started to talk about specific troubles with their kids. So what else is new? Children are often the greatest blessing in a life, and also the greatest challenge. Many books have been written about good parenting and child psychology, but what we noticed was different.

We started hearing more and more about a new kind of child, or at least a new kind of problem for the parent. The difficulties were odd in nature, in that they represented an interchange between adult and child that was unexpected and seemingly atypical of what our generation had experienced. We ignored it until we started hearing it from the professionals who deal specifically with children. They also were reporting similar challenges. Many were exasperated and at their wit’s end. Day-care workers all over the nation, some of whom had worked in their profession for over thirty years, were also telling us the same kind of stories about how things were somehow different with the kids. Then we saw something that was horrifying. When these “new” problems became acute, there was an overwhelming propensity to solve the issue by legally drugging the child!

Trust me… there are days that I really really want to drug my child.  Some days I’d give anything for a normal child.

Today being one of them.

I don’t work?

For those people who are convinced that stay at home parents do not work.

I just found my lunch in the microwave.

I don’t work though.  Not one little bit.  I get to sit on my arse and eat bon bons watching my soaps all day long.

cripes…

And, apparently I am the catalyst for knocking the Nursery Kindergarten teacher in to a different full time position… I was unaware of this magnificent power!  I am pleased by this power!  Despite being the same person who heard her say she wanted to have a full time position in a few years… But hey, it is all my fault!

Lord love a duck… someone find me a horse hair swich… I need a good flogging!

18 days…

Only 18 days until the husband leaves for four weeks.

Thank God for camp.

I’m so freaking glad that school won’t be around anymore.  I won’t ‘have to’ deal with the other parents…  That will be a joy all to itself.  I really and truely do not play well with others.  I really shouldn’t have had kids… but they are so darn fun and lovely at times.

I am going to suck back some of the sun tea I made with midsized boy earlier and hit the sofa… not up for a night of ‘hbacmama your snoring again!!!!’  only to listen to him snort and wheeze a few minutes later.  Yeah, as soon as one of the rooms opens up… I’m getting my own bed!

hmmmm doesn’t sound good does it?  oh well.

EIGHTEEN DAYS!!!!

huh.

I was hit by a freight train this morning.  All of a sudden out of no where I just wanted to sob.  I felt like the world was crashing around me and I could barely breathe.

oh wait…. yeah, had this before.  Panic attack?  Onset of a nervous breakdown?  Exhaustion?

take your pick.  I’m thinking a combination of all of the above.

So, husband will come home, I take biggest boy to rock climbing.   He feeds and gets the little monsters ready to go to the parent council meeting.  Biggest boy and I go to Tims and get gift cards and snacks for the meeting and meet them at the school.

The PAC President promises that it will be short, and she can talk fast.  I want to go to knit night and see if I need to exchange the dragon yarn I picked.  I think I picked the wrong stuff.  Hence having to go and have the experts help me.

Midsized boy has crashed on the couch.  I fret about next year.  I worry about his stamina and attitude for an afternoon schooling.  But… the other option is in a room with a woman who epitomized the definition of unprofessional teacher.  Yeah, I love my children too much to put them through that again.  Even biggest boy said, midsized boy isn’t going to be in Ms. _____’s class is he?  NO JOKE, he was concerned.  so there we have it.  Afternoon school or nothing.  And no, homeschooling is not an option.  I’m not that good a parent.

Well, time to get my butt in gear and type up the minutes of the last meeting.  Then I’m going to clean up under the island in the kitchen.  Been tossing things in there since Christmas.  It is scary!

Incessant whine….

And nary a mosquito to be seen.

Cripes. I let them play at the school play structure for half an hour (it is rather chilly still, but promises to get above ten later on today!) and then we came home to ‘watch da penguins’.

In the last hour half hour I’ve had absolutely nothing but freak outs from midsized boy and wee girlie. They are insanely demanding this morning. Both had been fed and watered before leaving for the school. I gave them each half a pear when we got home… and then comes the I want oatmeal! I want flakes. i have more breakfast. I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. Holy heck I am about to totally lose it. But, you already know that this is my new and improved parenting plan! Stay home and yell at them all the time. ffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

At least I’m not getting other people giving them whatever they want… seeing as my rationale of ‘they just ate and can go play now’ isn’t quite on the right parenting path! Oh think of the things I’m not learning….

Shucks.

snort.

What the f to do?

Well, after my well vocalized and total hissy fit.

A) Meetings have been held in my honour.

and here is the list of concerns.

1. No one wants their children to be around mine or come to our house, due to the fact that I am not a good parent… I yell too much. Alas, none of them have children with low impulse controls or Aspergers symptoms. You try talking rationally to an Aspergers child in the midst of a fit? Fine, then you can judge me.

2. Oh yes, hbacmama does love her children, but she really has to work on being a better parent. I need to get kids who don’t howl, screech, cry and generally freak out over every single thing… oh yeah, and get them to listen to me, so I don’t have to yell ’stop!’ when they make a bee line for the road.

3. I should re-join the Parent Centre, as they are rather concerned that I will spend all my time alone with the children and continue in this horrible parenting path. I have come to the conclusion that it is in my best interest to no longer spend time there because really… I can yell at them all the time now, and maybe I’ll even take up hitting them too?! note, that was sarcasm.

4. Hbacmama doesn’t seem to have any friends, she never gets away from the children and this is a rather large problem. hbacmama is quite okay with not having any friends… especially when this is the kind of shite they come up with behind my back… of course, a few of them did discuss it with me, because well… They are concerned, but not my friend?

The ‘what to do’ thought? Oh yeah, tonight is the ‘girls night out’ thing for one of the perfection under glass parents. I was supposed to make her a veil to wear. Three phone calls that I’ve been asked if I am still going.

For F*%$ SAKES people just be honest and say.

WE don’t like you.

WE think you suck as a parent. And your children are freaks because you suck soo badly!

WE don’t want you to come to anything we formerly invited you to.

Its not like they weren’t being honest on Friday right?

Do I go or do I stay….. guess we will find out as two of the three people whom I had planned on walking with were the most vocal about my pathetic excuse for parenting. I refuse to sink to their level and have a joint with them this summer while the kids are sleeping. Because we all know that smoking dope is totally the right thing to do as a parent!

Happy day!

Oh so awesome a day.

Husband went to put on his coat and the phone rang… Hell hath frozen over here! SQUEEEEE! We went by the Tim Horton’s and bought biggest boys teacher a coffee to stabilize her for the day… you know because of the hypeduponsugarandthethoughtofaparty kids who are a little more rambunctious than usual. a tinge… like an avalanche is a bit of snow tinge.

I baked cookies, and decorated them with the organic, vegetable based food colouring! Take that competi-mommies!

Do I rock or what?

Then this afternoon, we ran errands. I finally found ear candling candles. Oh Lord love a duck, by tomorrow I’ll be able to hear again! And…. these, I looked at the price…. ummm whoa. Someone did not mark that right. Yes, that is the organic cotton Lunapads! Two of them, with two liners. All for less than 15$ Canadian… drop jaw now!

The ones I’ve been making are a little different. But not by much. Awesome. I can use the liners I made in these ones too!

Yes, too much information. I’ll stop now.